In the journey and commitment to self love, there is no topic that I won’t touch…including Masturbation.
If we’re going to have an honest conversation about self love, how the hell are we going to leave out the beautiful art of the wank!?
No, not me. I want to touch this topic and play with it and stroke it..so that’s what we’re going to do.
If you’re not down for it, stop reading now. In the following post I will detail how I perform a guided meditation while I masturbate. I’m going to use words like cock and balls so If that’s not something that sounds like you want to read about, stop here.
For the women – just because I am a man doesn’t mean you cant try this yourself. The technique can be applied to the female genitalia as well, so feel free to exchange parts of the body as needed.
You’ve been warned.
I believe that masturbation is a sacred act of self love. The most honest expression of making love to yourself.
And like many other areas of life, how you make love to yourself is a reflection of how you make love to others.
Just like in every other area of my life, I want to be intentional when I make love. Be present. Be mindful of my partner and connected to them. Inside my body instead of inside of my head.
Being that I am obsessed with meditation, I created my own masturbation meditation. A way to meditate while I masturbate and make it into a spiritual experience.
I’ve heard from others that this is very similar to Tantra. To me it’s a combination of breathing techniques, Vipassana body scans, self massaging, and merely taking my time.
The total meditation can take up to an hour (yes I’ll dedicate an hour to this), but feel free to take parts out or speed things up as needed. This is the full meditation and you don’t need to use everything.
I don’t always use pornography, but sometimes I do and I will use it at the end. I time each stage using the app Insight Timer.
Here’s how I do it.
Breathing – 5 minutes
For the first five minutes I will just do deep breathing. I do a count of five for the in and then six for the out breath. Slowly breathing and focusing on calming my mind down and getting focused.
Body Scan – 10 Minutes
Next I will do a Vipassana style body scan to connect with my body. I will start with my head and focus on all of the feelings there. Trying to feel the weight of my head. The feelings in my face, cheeks, and jaw. The feelings in my eyes, ears, nose, and mouth.
Then I’ll move to my chest, then abs, then hands, forearms, upper arms, shoulders and neck, upper shoulders/back, lower back/midsection, groin/hips, quads/hams, knees, calves, ankles, feet.
The point of this exercise is to connect with the feelings of the body. To connect with each part of the body. Feel where you have tension or anxious energy, breathe into it, and allow it to relax.
Body Tickle – 5 Minutes
After the body scan is finished I will lightly touch myself all over. Tickle myself. I will do gentle touches and tickles over my body. I will feel my light touch give me chills and shivers. I will quiver into myself.
I personally find that under my armpits, my obliques, and inner thighs are some of the most sensitive parts. I can literally light my body on fire like this, tingling all over and sending shivers up my spine through my own touch and nothing else.
Mental Boner – 5 Minutes
While I’m lightly touching myself I’ll often get hard, but at this point I’m usually starting to get aroused.
From here I will try to give myself a boner mentally. I will think of sex and of things that turn me on. I have a visual imagination, so it’s usually not very hard (pun intended 😛 )
I don’t always maintain it for the full five minutes without any touch, sometimes I do. It varies depending on how horny I am and how much I’m able to get the visuals flowing. If this part is challenging for you, don’t worry.
Overall the key here is no touch, just thought and visualization.
The Balls – 5 Minutes
Next I’ll spend 5 minutes just massaging my balls. I hold them and feel them and play with them. That’s it!
Also while I’m doing this, I’m still focusing on the feelings in my body. The feelings flowing through each body part. Paying attention to how my arousal levels change the energy flowing around my body.
Slow Strokes – 5 minutes
For the next five minutes I will stroke slowly, take my time. The key here is to stay slow and controlled. I’ll often even pause and take a deep breath in between strokes.
Again – they main key is to focus on the energy flowing through the body. The sensations and feelings that start to arise. Pay attention to how touching yourself and beginning to masturbate is causing new feelings to flow through your body. Pay close attention to those feelings.
For me, this first part is often very intense. Despite going slowly, I can feel chills rippling throughout my body. I can feel how my touch sends sexual electricity through my system. Especially through my legs, feet, and hands.
Freestyle – 10 Minutes
From here I give myself the freedom to get down how I want to. Go fast, go slow, double handed, switch it up as much as I want to. Here I don’t have any rules and I just do what feels best.
Again – while doing this I try not to get too carried away by the feelings in my penis, and instead I focus on “what does the rest of my body feel like?”
Lube – 5 Minutes (Optional)
I don’t always do this one, but if I have it available, I usually will. This is when I will get out the lube.
Again, I’ll freestyle for five minutes.
Edging – 5 minutes
This is the “start/stop” technique – I’ll bring myself to the point just before the “point of no return” and then I will stop and cool down. I’ll do this as many times as I can in the five minute span, bringing myself up and then back down over and over, building the intensity and desire to release each time.
Again – As I do this I pay attention to the FEELINGS flowing throughout my body. Especially after I edge my body feels super sensitive. Flowing with electricity. It feels like my whole body is tingling with anticipation.
THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART!!!
Feel the build up, try to make the build up and “Point of No Return” last as long as it can.
When you do finally let go, feel the entirety of the orgasm. How intense it is.
Afterwards pay close attention to the feelings flowing through your body. The release. The calm it has left you with. Really try to FEEL what just took place.
Pay attention to the difference in how you felt right before the orgasm to immediately after. Were you able to remain mindful with it? Feel it in it’s entirety?
Afterwards I’ll often just lie there in bliss, untimed. I feel the new energy in my body. I feel everything flowing. I’ll remain anchored to the feelings of relaxation flowing through my body.
That’s it my friends 🙂 This is the technique I use to connect with myself in the most sacred act of self love possible. This is how I practice loving myself – making love to myself.
It’s been a practice that has given me immense benefits and helped me to learn my body, what turns me on, what feels good, and how to maintain control throughout the whole process.
As a side note, it’s also helped me to last longer in bed (something I’ve historically struggled with), because it teaches me how to slow down and take the attention off of my penis and instead into the rest of my body.
May it provide you with everlasting feelings of love and happiness. May you love yourself thoroughly and explode with bliss!
Ate proximo 😉
Also published on Medium.