I believe that the words “I need to talk”, “I need help”, “Help me” – any type of cry for help – are the most powerful words on the planet.
They can get someone to stop dead in their tracks, immediately forget whatever else it was that they were doing, and direct all of their attention to you, their friend/family member in need.
Isn’t it amazing how, if we say these words to someone, we immediately have people reach out to us with a helping hand?
When we ACTUALLY need help. Like true help. I’m fucked up kind of help. People instantly reply.
It’s fucking beautiful. People can’t help but help. If I have a friend who I know needs me, fuck work, fuck anything going on in my life, it all stops and I am there to help that person to the best of my abilities.
I believe that much of humanity is this way. We want to help. We feel compelled to. If we know that one of our friends is truly in need, the world stops short. We forget about all of our other worries and priorities and our sole focus becomes helping out that person who needs it.
And isn’t it amazing how, whenever we share our problems with the world, ten people seem to come back right at you and say, “Hey me too! I’ve had that problem too!!!” Or at the very least we know someone who knows someone with a similar problem?
When we share our problems we realize that we’re not the only one. Whatever it is you’re going through, there’s someone else out there right now who probably has the exact same problem as you.
When we ask for help, people generally shower us with it – So if this is the case, if people always seem to come out of the woodwork when we need it most, why do we keep it all bottled inside? Why are we so afraid to share our problems with others?
When we keep our problems to ourselves, we suffocate on them. Spin circles in our heads ruminating about whatever life threw our way to rock us off balance.
However when we share our problems with others we give them distance, we create space. We get perspective. We get out of our own heads. We discover others with the same problems.
I believe that we should all embrace the vulnerability to talk about our deepest, darkest secrets. To share your fears, your anxieties, and your stresses. Let them out. To share the thoughts we only keep to ourselves.
Now, I’m not saying go scream about all of your problems on social media. I don’t think that’s a very good idea to broadcast your issues to the world.
But you can however create healthy outlets. Specific people who you go to in times of crisis. Close people who you trust who won’t judge you and won’t try to give advice, just people to listen to you when you need it most.
Whenever I’m at my lowest, no matter how alone I want to be, no matter how much I want to isolate myself from the world, I force myself to go talk to people. To reach out to my select core of friends and family who can give me the perspective I need to push through.
My friends and family are always the people who help me through my problems when I need it most. I know that most of us will say the same.
By the way – Having a close circle of people to count on is one of the biggest predictors of life expectancy, and people who don’t have people they can count on in times of crisis are more likely to become drug addicts….just saying…
Whatever you’re going through in life, share it with someone. If you have a problem with someone, tell them. Talk it through. You’ll feel better afterwards. You’ll feel lighter.
Tell people you need to talk, and then have the chats you need to. Express it all, let it out.
This life is a journey we’re all in together, and there’s no reason to walk the path alone. We’re all here as a team, walking through the sandstorm, pulling each other along until we reach the oasis of love and life 😉
Also published on Medium.