One of the things that pisses me off about the world of self-help, self-development, etc etc. is that there is this assumption that there is something wrong with us. That we need to improve areas of our lives to become the best versions of ourselves.
I’m guilty of it as well. I see the version of myself that I want to eventually become, and compare it to the version of myself that I currently am. I examine the gap and work to make it shorter on a daily basis.
But in our journey of self improvement and self development, is this “gap” the very thing that is actually getting in the way of becoming our best selves?
In my opinion, the very notion of improvement or optimization implies that there is something wrong with us in the first place. This “gap” of who we want to become creates our sense of inadequacy, rather than accepting ourselves as who we currently are in the present moment.
It’s hard to love who you already are when you’re obsessed with the version of yourself you want to become.
Rather than focusing on the gap, what if instead, we focused on simply being the best version of ourselves TODAY.
You might want a better body, or a better job, you name it – but what can you do TODAY to make a meaningful step in the direction of your goals?
You see, you are ALREADY the best version of yourself. There’s not much you can do today to dramatically change who you are and where you are in life – so work with what you currently have to be the best version of yourself that you can be right now, in this moment.
The person who you want to become will always be a moving target. You will always be a work in progress. The person who you currently are however, is in your control right now.
What can you do today to be the best version of yourself? What can you today do to cultivate the perfect day?
You can work your ass off today, and prepare for tomorrow, but past that everything is a mystery.
Be the best version of yourself right now. You probably already know which habits you should be discarding, which new ones to implement, etc. You probably already know the diet and exercise routine you should be following. You probably already know what you need to do at work as well.
John Wooden (the all time most winning NCAA basketball coach), defines success as “Peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.”
Peace of mind that comes from knowing you gave your best effort. Yea, I like that.
If you gave your best effort, if you were the best version of yourself, today, that day was a success. String a series of successful days and weeks together and you become a successful person, constantly improving and becoming the person you want to become while loving the person you already are 🙂
Also published on Medium.
One interesting experiment I did just now. I typed in on the internet, “What is the best version of yourself?” It took me 4 pages to finally get to your article, and I still have not had a link that answers it. The 4 pages prior are filled with “How to be the best version of yourself.” How could I possibly do anything to be the best version of myself if I don’t even know what the best version of myself is? Apparently, everyone seems to know what the best version of themselves are, but in my theory, it’s just that everyone seems to think they know what the best version of themselves are. They have an idea of what the “best” version of themselves are, and then seem to be highly motivated to do actions that will get them from where they are (reality) to where they want to be (an ideal). So, in my mind, what they are doing is looking at reality and saying to themselves “well this is unsatisfactory. But an image in my head is satisfactory.” Then they actually achieve their idea to a varying degree, and they say to themselves, “well this is unsatisfactory. But this next image in my head is satisfactory.” My point being, why can’t people just develop themselves without any goal of a “Best version of themselves”? Why can’t they use their energies without thinking about it? It seems like in this period of technological-human advancement, one can’t do something without it being towards a goal of some sort. Just do what you do; enjoy what you are doing right now. Apparently it’s not good enough, unsatisfactory, all the little things, reading an article, browsing the internet, getting out of bed. Apparently even the act of breathing has to be towards a goal — to achieve a meditative state in order to be a better version of yourself. You can’t just enjoy breathing. You aren’t good enough if you enjoy sitting in a chair, not even “meditating” according to the contrived definition of what people unsatisfied with their lives made up to define what “meditating is.” You can’t just enjoy sitting in a chair breathing. All the animals do what they do without a smidge of worry about being the “best version of themselves” They already are the best version of themselves, because the best version of everything is happening right now. Well, the only version of everything is happening right now. Call it the best or the worst, it’s the only version. If it’s not good enough, change it. Why make a goal out of changing it. Change the part that needs to be changed and be done. Be practical. Having a “sense of self” that you have to be the “best” of requires a tremendous amount of effort to think out every second of one’s life, arguably a waste of energy that could be used to changing the things in your life that need to be changed (by the way there probably isn’t nearly as much as your mind thinks) and spend the rest of that energy enjoying your life as it is.