What if your idea of heaven was actually hell?

What if hell was so amazing that you never wanted to leave?

What if hell was full of all your wildest desires? The most beautiful place you’ve ever seen. A literal “heaven on earth, full of amazing food and drink, unlimited sex with beautiful people, nature in abundance with waterfalls and beaches, and a never-ending supply of intoxicants to keep you entertained with little to no immediate ramifications for indulging in irresponsibility!!!!

What if, the grand cosmic joke, is that we’re already in hell…but HELL IS AWESOME!!!!

Eat. Drink. Smoke. Fuck. Take drugs. Dance. Go crazy! It’s earth bitch! Live it up to the fullest!!! I AM A CONSCIOUS HUMAN BEING MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!

What if hell is so amazing that you never realized you’re there, and wouldn’t leave if given the choice to!?

Why the hell would you want to leave if you could endlessly pursue all of your wildest dreams?!


What if hell is just a giant distraction of temptation? Unlimited fulfillment of chasing pleasure and avoiding pain, but the result of this is we’re clouded from our real potential?

What if hell is being stuck in our earthly existence, dumbed down and prevented from understanding the cosmic consciousness that is our universe.

What if earth is hell, and heaven is when we learn to overcome our animalistic desires, rise above our human nature and become something more?

What if that’s the test? Are you distracted by the bells and whistles that hell has to offer? OR can you resist the temptations of food, drink, drugs, sex…rise above those temptations, opt-out, and instead dive into surrendering to the universe?

What if, every time you die, you are sent back to hell? Instead of graduating to heaven, you return back to hell to serve another lifetime? Thus creating a reincarnation of sorts where you remain in hell until you learn to rise above your animalistic nature?

What if, in order to reach heaven, we must train like the buddhist monks and walk the path of enlightenment?!


What if hell were actually heaven – but we’re so distracted that we never realized that we’re already in heaven in the first place!!!

What if hell is a state of mind? A state of mind lost in thought. Distracted. Absent minded. Worried. Anxious. Angry. Afraid.

What if we’re already in heaven, but we create a hell on earth by entangling ourselves in our problems, worries, and anxieties.

What if we’re already in heaven, already capable of being the most loving being we can think of, but we’re so busy beating ourselves up and chasing external goals we fail to ever realize our true loving capacity?

Think about it – we’re surrounded by beauty in every direction in boundless abundance. We have a variety of delicious fruits and vegetables and animals to keep us fed (whether or not you believe in eating animals, it’s hell already anyway!!!). We have a beautiful planet filled with verdant nature, rainforests, beaches, mountains, you name it! Sex and drugs are seemingly everywhere if you have an active eye open for it. Pick your poison, earth has got it for you!

Yes, there a lot of people on this planet suffering. Absofucking-lutely. There are a lot of people who don’t share this abundance and live very difficult lives….but for some reason all studies done on the most impoverished people on the planet show them to be just as happy as the middle class american (do your own research, call me out on it if I’m wrong).

For all intents and purpose, this planet that we’re on is far from limbo. We have liquid fucking water. Try finding that shit on any other planet we’ve seen anywhere in the universe (fun fact…you can’t!). In my opinion, it’s heaven. It’s the most amazingly bafflingly beautiful place I’ve ever seen and leaves me in awe on a daily basis.

So what if hell is being detached from the living paradise that is the present moment? What if every time you are lost in thought, angry, stressed, suffering – you are in hell.

What if, when you learn to let go of these things, control your reactions, and become the patient observer instead of being wrapped up in the drama of the mind – you can opt out and realize that you’re already here in heaven?

What if heaven is the present moment? What if heaven is every time you anchor yourself to a deep breath and smile? What if heaven is time with friends and family, good food and drink. Good sex. Time in nature. All of these things in nature. Naked?!?!?!?

What if?

Also published on Medium.

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